Tech Support for fun: Wife 1.0 software

Dear Tech Support:

Last summer I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. But this
new program has created an unexpected miniature version of itself
which is using up a lot of space and valuable resource. In addition,
Wife 1.0 has installed itself into all my other programs and now
monitors all other system activity such as the applications 'Poker
Night 103','Football 5.0', 'Hunting' and 'Fishing 7.5', and 'Racing
36'. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going
back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks, Troubled User..

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking
that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0
is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING!! ! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to
return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge
the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed
to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
Warnings-Alimony- Child Support. I recommend that you keep
Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the
background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE
because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command
before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great
program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes
with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 30, Cook It
1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these
programs.Improper use will cause the system to launch the program
Nag Nag 9.5 .Once this happens, the only way to improve the
performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I
recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary
With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife
1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support